Rambling On, Day 85

It seems to be impossible to get a job here. Impossible.

Though I'm not in DESPERATE need of a job, it would be nice to have some money to buy clothes. I know that sounds a bit obnoxious, but if you have ever gotten the chance to walk into Topshop on Oxford Street, you'll understand where I'm coming from.

I was talking to someone today about writers. When he asked me who my "role models" are, Sylvia Plath's name instantly left my mouth which took me by surprise. I've always gotten annoyed when people list off clichéd writers, and yet here I was, doing the exact same thing! I explained my reasoning (I'm not so crazy about what she writes about but I look up to the overall way she approaches her writing, the mood she creates) but was still annoyed at myself. Though I do look up to Sylvia Plath, she's definitely not at the top of my list but more towards the middle. Maybe we look for common and familiar ground instinctively, not just when talking about writers but all forms of culture; perhaps it's our way of avoiding a potentially awkward conversation. Or maybe, we feel we have to pull out these names because we actually don't want to admit we were inspired by the authors who write novels that have been dubbed "guilty pleasures"? I promised myself today never to list off a name just for the sake of it if ever asked that question again! As for my actual "role models"? I'd have to say they're always changing. When I was thirteen and fourteen, Sonya Sones and Sarah Dessen were definitely up there. Then in grade eleven I was introduced to Evelyn Lau and fell in love with her fearlessness when it comes to subject matter. In grade twelve we studied Michael Ondatje and although his writing confused me for a while, I suddenly couldn't stop reading his novels (there's something addictive about his style of writing). I think that all of the writer's above have inspired me in equally different ways.

I'm going to be starting an evening writing course soon. I'm pretty excited!

x

Dreaming, Day 84

I dream of your distant presence
my fingers frantically trying to reach the soft feel of your skin
through the meshed web of uneven truths
and the hexagonal combs of memories I have collected
and placed side by side
of those seemingly insignificant moments
which I now crave like the sticky scent of honey

we finally unite
where the brushfire meets the fairytale world
of children’s imaginations;
its over exaggerated colours and creatures greeting us with
benevolent reminders of our past mistakes

I catch your tears like raindrops
on my tongue
and together we wipe the erratic colour from the world around us
until our mistakes are replaced with an empty whiteboard
ready to receive our equations of love
the ones we answered incorrectly so many times before

you fill my mouth with the right answers
and your minty breath;
I wake up with the taste of you on the tip of my tongue
breathing out the faint melody of your smile

Epping Forest, Day 82

We had a picnic in Epping Forest today. The sun was shining, though it got very cold sitting on the ground after a while (I can't complain though...a picnic in January in Canada is unfathomable I think)! The park was lovely and open and there weren't many people around which was nice.

There is something so beautiful about the light here; when it actually decides to shine (which is not that often), it is very strong, though at the same time there is a soft quality to it. Hopefully I'm making sense, but if not I think the photos below illustrate what I am trying to say!

Clarity, Day 81

sitting in a stream of sunlight in a room filled with songs of norah jones is probably the best creative motivation. i ended up filling four note pages in an attempt to sort out the clutter of thoughts floating around in my head. they ended up presenting themselves on the pages in a jumble of run on sentences and about seven attempts at a poem. i love how writing can always bring clarity to a confused mix of thoughts and feelings.

i hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!

x

Just Baking Some Cookies, Day 79