This Time Last Year, Day 141

This time last year I was waiting to hear back from the universities I had applied to. This turned out to be quite an emotional experience!

As I began to think about what I wanted to study, I was a bit lost. I knew I wanted to be a writer, but was aware that I had to approach this dream with some sort of practicality- I didn't want to (and knew that I couldn't) solely live off writing novels. I began thinking about journalism; I could write and make a decent living, while still creatively writing on the side.

I ended up applying to a few schools for Journalism, Humanities and Creative Writing. Despite my practical thinking, I had my heart set on studying Creative Writing at Concordia University. I spent months on my portfolio as only a very small handful of people would make it into the program and I so wanted to be one of those few.

But close to the university application deadline, I was looking around the UofT website and found a joint-Journalism program; I would be able to take an Honours BA, majoring in whatever I wanted while still studying Journalism at Centennial College. Not very many people got accepted and I sent off the application awaiting a rejection letter. But somewhat miraculously, an acceptance letter came instead. I remember that afternoon so well. I called my dad and cried, my mom walked into the house and saw the tears streaming down my face and thought something was horribly wrong. And then she read the letter and started to cry. I couldn't believe it. I felt like I'd accomplished something huge- I was so happy, excited, confused, overwhelmed, proud. And then the acceptance from Concordia came. The thinking began.

My family couldn't afford to send me to Montreal, that had always been clear. I couldn't get student loans and the scholarships weren't guaranteed. I had always thought that money shouldn't stop me from going for my dream. But what would I do with a creative writing degree? Would I get bored of writing creatively for four years straight? What about UofT? This program was a once in a lifetime opportunity and would allow me to intern with magazines, newspapers, etc. But did I even want to be a journalist? Did I even want to be a writer?

In the end I chose the UofT Journalism program. I can fully say right now that I am so unbelievably sure of the decision I made and this year off has made that possible. Creative writing will always be there, it's something I'll always do. I want to challenge myself and end up doing something that challenges me every day. I applied for Journalism with the idea of becoming a writer or editor for a magazine, an interest that has been in the back of my mind and not the forefront simply because of how unachievable it has always seemed. I am so glad that I decided to take this year off because I have learnt so much about myself (have I said that enough??!) and have gained confidence in what I am capable of doing; I don't doubt myself as much as I used to. So although things are likely to change as I learn even more (and I am only eighteen), I am entering into the program at UofT with the dream of one day working for a magazine in New York (whether that be the writing side or artistic side I'm not quite sure yet!)

Samantha seems to have so many connections (I've given her the you actually know that person? look quite a lot) and suggested that I email the former editor-in-chief of ELLE, Nadine Rubin. I did, asking her for advice before I started studying next year. She emailed me in two days with the best advice I could have asked for. It was so exciting to receive words of wisdom from someone who has accomplished what I one day hope to; she made it seem more than possible. I am so excited to start learning again, and feeling as though I'm working towards something both challenging and exciting!

Day 140

The calender clearly states that come March 28th, it is officially "British Summertime". It has been rainy and cold for the past five days and is getting very depressing. I'm not happy about this lets-call-it-summer-but-actually-make-it-feel-like-winter business. It makes me want to hop into the bath every five seconds.

There's something so distinctive about the morning time in England. I was out of the house at seven this morning (just for the record, this was not voluntary) and everything was all drizzly and quiet. It's how I'll always remember England feeling and reminded me of the first day I arrived, when everything around me just felt so British.

What does one do when it never stops raining? Write, read, fantasize about Greece holiday, consume tea non-stop, etc. etc. More exciting things to come though, I promise (I've got some adventures planned starting Friday).

Day 136

You know when you’ve just woken up and the pillows are positioned just right, the sun is steaming through the window, the blankets are pulled up to your chin and you just feel really safe? That was me this morning. A lazy start to a very lazy day.

I have so many things planned out to do next week (I’ve made a long list…what is it about lists that is just so satisfying?) but am trying not to spend any money so I can save as much as I can for Paris/Greece. I’ve still got a long list of all the clothes I still need (I guess this word should actually be want) to buy. Sometimes I secretly hope that the day will come where I’ll check my bank account balance and find that the numbers have magically doubled themselves. It’s quite sad.

I wrote a lot today. Not very exciting stuff. I think that my writing is going down hill. It’s all just so dramatic and repetitive. I need something new to write about!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Morning 136

I remember playing with Olivia when we were this young, untainted by the world around us, absorbed instead with childhood fantasies and naivety.

An Update! Day 135

Today was Ava and Maude's last day of school before a three week holiday! On Sunday, it is officially SUMMER here in England and I'm so excited. Magical things happen in the summer time.

Having not had my haircut for about five months or something ridiculous like that, my hair was getting a bit out of hand and had grown very very long. But earlier in the week, I got it all chopped off and now it's just below my shoulders. I was so nervous to get it all cut off (I have a bit of an attachment to my hair and so there was quite a lot of build up the days before I was due to have it cut...Samantha didn't quite understand what the big deal was) but I actually really, really love it short!

Today I went to the Photographers' Gallery


and it was really inspirational to see contemporary photography for a change. There were lots artists who presented their photos accompanied by words or displayed in a book. I was reminded today how photography has the ability to shift my mood and promote feelings inside of me more than any other art form, like the series today by Donovan Wylie. The photos document the demolition of the Maze Prison situated in Northern Ireland and made me feel incredibly sad. They gave off such a lonely, empty feeling.



I left feeling rather inspired:


I'm currently working on a photography project of portraits. Samantha's dining room has sliding glass doors across the whole wall that conveniently let in North light. I've got some people who are going to come and sit for me so I'm pretty excited especially because they're all interesting looking (and I don't mean that in a bad way at all!).

The girls also had a couple friends over to have an Easter egg hunt (do you remember how fun those were?!) and I got to hide all the eggs (this excited me much more than it should have).

I got really sad yesterday to realize that come April, everything is just going to fly by as I'm going to be travelling (camping with the girls, visiting my grandparents, GREECCCEE, PARISS!) not to mention I have a friend who has booked her ticket to come to London for a month! I'm so excited!! I am having the most amazing time in London and as much as I miss everyone, it is going to be hard leaving the life I have become familiar with. How am I going to be able to live without having wonderful conversations with Ava or Maude yelling "ANDRA"? I don't know.