This Time Last Year, Day 141

This time last year I was waiting to hear back from the universities I had applied to. This turned out to be quite an emotional experience!

As I began to think about what I wanted to study, I was a bit lost. I knew I wanted to be a writer, but was aware that I had to approach this dream with some sort of practicality- I didn't want to (and knew that I couldn't) solely live off writing novels. I began thinking about journalism; I could write and make a decent living, while still creatively writing on the side.

I ended up applying to a few schools for Journalism, Humanities and Creative Writing. Despite my practical thinking, I had my heart set on studying Creative Writing at Concordia University. I spent months on my portfolio as only a very small handful of people would make it into the program and I so wanted to be one of those few.

But close to the university application deadline, I was looking around the UofT website and found a joint-Journalism program; I would be able to take an Honours BA, majoring in whatever I wanted while still studying Journalism at Centennial College. Not very many people got accepted and I sent off the application awaiting a rejection letter. But somewhat miraculously, an acceptance letter came instead. I remember that afternoon so well. I called my dad and cried, my mom walked into the house and saw the tears streaming down my face and thought something was horribly wrong. And then she read the letter and started to cry. I couldn't believe it. I felt like I'd accomplished something huge- I was so happy, excited, confused, overwhelmed, proud. And then the acceptance from Concordia came. The thinking began.

My family couldn't afford to send me to Montreal, that had always been clear. I couldn't get student loans and the scholarships weren't guaranteed. I had always thought that money shouldn't stop me from going for my dream. But what would I do with a creative writing degree? Would I get bored of writing creatively for four years straight? What about UofT? This program was a once in a lifetime opportunity and would allow me to intern with magazines, newspapers, etc. But did I even want to be a journalist? Did I even want to be a writer?

In the end I chose the UofT Journalism program. I can fully say right now that I am so unbelievably sure of the decision I made and this year off has made that possible. Creative writing will always be there, it's something I'll always do. I want to challenge myself and end up doing something that challenges me every day. I applied for Journalism with the idea of becoming a writer or editor for a magazine, an interest that has been in the back of my mind and not the forefront simply because of how unachievable it has always seemed. I am so glad that I decided to take this year off because I have learnt so much about myself (have I said that enough??!) and have gained confidence in what I am capable of doing; I don't doubt myself as much as I used to. So although things are likely to change as I learn even more (and I am only eighteen), I am entering into the program at UofT with the dream of one day working for a magazine in New York (whether that be the writing side or artistic side I'm not quite sure yet!)

Samantha seems to have so many connections (I've given her the you actually know that person? look quite a lot) and suggested that I email the former editor-in-chief of ELLE, Nadine Rubin. I did, asking her for advice before I started studying next year. She emailed me in two days with the best advice I could have asked for. It was so exciting to receive words of wisdom from someone who has accomplished what I one day hope to; she made it seem more than possible. I am so excited to start learning again, and feeling as though I'm working towards something both challenging and exciting!