Teen Angst or Depression? The woes of “generation me”.

There they go, flocking down the halls, plugged into their iPods, their thumbs skidding across their personal little electronic devices that sit in the palm of their hand. Their species can be classified as the “teeny bopper” race and they come in all shapes and sizes, united by the sheer fact that they are all awkward-the way they dress (why they buy denim full price that has been pre-ripped or “distressed” as they call it, will continue to baffle me), the way they walk (their shoes are often ripped and dirty, shoelaces almost always untied), and the way they style their hair (black, jaggedly cut bangs to hide their sunglass shaded eyes). They walk in a cluster, their faces blending together to create a sea of sulky expressions as they converse in their lingo (instead of laughing, they say “l-o-l”). They all share the same condition, understood by parents around the world as “teen angst” (a hate for the world and every living, or non-living thing in it). Although the main symptom of “teen angst” is simply being a teenager, others include the repeated use of the acronym “fml” (figure it out, it’s really not as genius as they think it is), a perpetual expression of hate for the world (this comes in all sorts of forms- swearing, rebellion, glaring) and, most commonly, the “don’t even talk to me right now” look plastered across their face at, oh, all times of the day…yes, even when they are sleeping. Teen angst often causes the parent race great distress; the slamming of doors, the overdramatic sobs and the full-blown hysteria can get quite exhausting. These fits of angst (usually set off by a mere glace in their direction) can be guaranteed to be accompanied by either an: (insert whiney voice): “you just don’t UNDERSTAND me” or “you are just so embarrassing” or just a simple, “ohmygawddd.”

There was, believe it or not, a point in time when this behaviour was treated as a mental disorder, one that would land you a trip straight to the loony bin. But as times evolved, our society separated this behaviour from a mental disorder, classifying it with the people it attached itself to (ages 13-18 seemed most common) and they became known as the generation of teens “going through a phase.”

There are tragic stories of “teen angst”, the cases that continue on to the adult years, the ones that result in lethal endings (sticking one’s head in the oven and gassing themselves, swallowing forty sleeping pills and dying in one’s own vomit, etc. etc.). These cases do, of course, bring up the burning question I know you’re asking yourself right now: have we let it slide? Do we simply classify these little princes and princesses as “dramatic” without any real thought or analysis? What if they’re crying out for help? Well now, don’t worry. Hold onto your comb-over while we discuss this rationally.

There needs to be, of course, a line drawn between the word “depression” and “teen angst” though this line has been erased over the years. Teens have earned themselves the stereotype of loud, uncontrollable rebels who really don’t have a care about anything in the world. We must take precaution in the way we approach these fragile little beings, for sensitive subject matter such as this, if not attacked in the correct manner will only result in a door-in-the-face scenario. A good way to brace this subject is to constantly say “you”, for this species relishes in talking about themselves; they are, after all “generation me”. Do not give up when you receive the rolling of the eyes, the deep, full body-shaking sighs and the swearing-under-the-breath routine. Simply engrave it into their amygdale detached brains that seeking attention is one thing but depression is another, something they must seek help for.

We need to re-establish the line so we don’t mistake depression for “teen angst” or vice versa. Perhaps a new diagnosis needs to be made to clinically identify “teen angst” in order for definitive symptoms to be established. It is in a teen’s nature to constantly seek attention and approval and the characteristics that come along with this are, as the parent race knows, rebellious. The parent race needs to nurture the growth of their teens which, regrettably, means tolerating the diva attitude, the “you are lame” comments and the sound of their bedroom door slamming. If the symptoms do not reside after teens get the acknowledgement they are seeking, the parent race may need to take action to make sure that their teen is not suffering from depression.
On behalf of the entire non-parent race I send my condolences out to those who are having a hard time dealing with their child’s angst-filled behaviour. The parent race must remain patient and although at times it may be hard to resist, keep their head out of the oven; our youth need their help.